Leave me Blind
by TheAllisons
Summary: Hook puts the brace on Emma, to make sure she doesn't get in his way. She gets hurt. Hook is filled with guilt and tries to heal her, he can't stand her being afraid of him. This story is about the lengths we will go for love. The consequences we ignore and worst of all the mistakes we can never undo. CANON DIVERGENCE. Set after 5x10. Very angsty.
1. Chapter 1: Hurt you

The cool brace clamped onto her wrist. Her heart twisted.

"I don't want you getting in my way dearest swan." Hook sneered.

She didn't answer. Excalibur was on the bench right beside her, if she could just get hold of it.

He slid his cool hook over her cheek. "It's strange to think that not long ago I would do anything for you."

Emma frowned. "That's just the darkness talking."

He laughed manically. "You sound just like your dear mother."

In a flash Emma shoved past him and snatched for Excalibur. Just as her fingers wrapped around its jeweled hilt, then Hook's arm curved around her stomach and the cold metal of his hook was pressed against her throat. "Ah, ah, ah. No we won't have any of that swan."

She thrashed. "Please let me go Killian, you don't have to do this."

He laughed. "Oh, I do tire of hearing that"

She twisted in his grasp, his hook pressing painfully against her neck.

He slid his hand down her arm and twisted the sword out of her hand.

"No, you can't do this." Emma pulled away from him. But not fast enough, his hook slid against the soft skin on her neck, leaving a deep jagged scratch.

"You really don't know when to give up swan." He grabbed her throat this time. Crushing it painfully.

"Please." She coughed. "Please, I love you Killian."

He smirked sardonically. "That's unfortunate."

She clawed at his hand, tears streaming down her face. "Please, you're hurting me Killian."

He scowled, the released her. She crumpled to the ground, sobbing.

Hook placed excalibur on the bench again, caressing it.

The look on his face was terrifying, he looked drunk. Drunk with power. Emma was afraid of him. She felt that in that moment, he would not hesitate to kill her. Maybe he sensed her fear, because he knelt down on his knees in front of her. "If you don't try and stop me, I won't hurt you love."

She looked straight into his eyes, there was not a hint of sincerity, there was only darkness, and the pure lust to spread it even more. He wanted to hurt people, Emma knew exactly how that felt. Then she turned and ran, blood running down her neck and tears prickling her eyes. She was afraid, afraid of the man she loved more than anything.

* * *

Emma had sat in the exact same place for what felt like hours. Inside an old crumbling building by the docks, it was cold and damp. She couldn't stop crying. She felt pathetic, filled with self pity and loathing for herself. She was worthless. How could she make him so unhappy. How could she be so selfish?

After a while she began to feel dizzy, it was the wound on her neck, still bleeding. Gods, it didn't matter anyway. If she bled to death, who would really care? Hook hated her. Her own family didn't even trust her. She choked back another sob. Pathetic, she was bloody pathetic. Her whole throat was bruised and tender from Hook's hand, she touched it gingerly. Then she closed her eyes and buried her head in her hands.

"Stand up swan."

Emma tensed, panic filling her. She looked up slowly, Hook was standing in the dim light of the building, his arms crossed.

She scrambled and was on her feet in a flash. "Please don't hurt me KIllian, I won't get in your way...I-I can leave StoryBrooke...I will-."

He raised his hand "I am not here to hurt you swan."

She coughed. "Please just leave me."

He didn't answer, his eyes were glued to the wound on her neck. "Swan, that wound will eventually kill you, my hook was enchanted."

Emma turned her back to him, trying to stifle her tears. "I d-don't care. I deserve to die."

His expression softened. "Swan. Please, I never meant to hurt you. Don't be afraid of me. Let me save you."

She bit her lip. "Why? I ruined everything. I gave you the darkness. You have every right to hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"WELL YOU SHOULD!" She screamed. Her whole body shaking.

"Swan please let me help you."

She didn't answer. But she could not stop her sobs.

"I won't hurt you swan." His eyes were shining with pain. "Please, I don't want you to die by my hand."

Emma was shaking violently now, and she was beginning to feel more and more faint. "I'm afraid."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you." He looked at her with desperation and so much guilt. "I wasn't thinking, the power. I can't control it.

Black spots appeared on Emma's vision, she dropped to her knees. "Oh gods." She whispered, cradling her head in her hands.

Hook was suddenly beside her. "Let me help you, please love."

Emma swallowed then looked up at him. "Okay."

She had never seen him look so relieved. "Thank you." He reached out to touch her throat, she jumped, pulling away from him.

"It's okay swan. I promise I will be gentle."

Emma swiped tears from her eyes then moved closer to him again."

His cool fingers brushed her throat, gently and with so much care, it made her feel terrible.

"There swan."

She gently brushed her throat, there was no trace of her injury. "Thank you Killian."

He nodded then stood up again, turning away from her. "I'm so sorry, for everything. I can't blame you for making me the Dark one. I would've done the same in your position."

"It's okay."

He didn't answer. Then Emma stood up, and grabbed his shoulder. "Killian, thank you." She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck, the familiar smell of leather and sea greeted her.

"Oh Emma." He hugged her so tightly that it made it hard to breath. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know."

He gently kissed where her injury had been, guilt in his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

He kept clutching her, whispering apologies, his hand in her hair.

Emma saw now, that he needed her more than anything. Without love darkness would fill the space in his heart. "I love you." She whispered. "I love you more than anything in the whole world Killian, don't ever forget that."

 **PLease review..I did this to make you guys happy..if it did please take a few seconds to review..it will make me soo happy..:D**


	2. Chapter 2: Cold comfort

Hook couldn't sleep, it just wouldn't come. His whole body seemed to be buzzing and wide awake, the power coursing through his veins. He groaned and punched his pillow, hard. The moonlight was streaming through the window of the Jolly Roger and the waves were crashing against the side of the ship, the noise seemed to be so loud. Even though he had always found the sound relaxing. Now, it just seemed to be mocking him. He sat bolt upright, staring blankly out the window. It was strange to be filled with the power of the dark one, at times he felt almost normal. He saw no reason to act any different. But at other times...well it was like a drug. Once he got a taste that was it, it was addicting and sweet. He hated it. He hated that he wanted to cause people pain. He had _liked_ hurting Emma.

Oh Emma. He longed for her company more than anything right now. If only he could hold her in his arms once again.

After he healed her, she had wanted to go see her family, not him. Which was entirely understandable. Hook could tell that a part of her was still a little afraid of him. It was the worst feeling, to see her that scared. When he had found her she had looked like a cornered animal, she thought she was going to _die_.

Hook growled and stood up. Why did it matter? His power was enough, he would get his revenge, he didn't need Emma. What did love ever bring him but pain? and more heartbreak.

With this power, he could finally kill the crocodile.

Then what?

Gods, he needed air. Hook waved his hand and in a second he was on the damp wood of the docks. It was a bright night, the moonlight overthrew the darkness. He could see the lines on his hand it was so light. He felt anger flare through his veins. What was the point in living if he had to be this way?

"Hello?"

He spun round, Emma was standing in the moonlight. Looking as beautiful as ever.

"Emma." He breathed.

She smiled. "I thought I'd better come see you

"Thanks love." He smiled.

"Killian, can we go inside? It's rather cold out here."

* * *

They lay together for hours, just in each other's arms, silent. Emma drifted off to sleep after a bit.

She jumped slightly. Hook's voice rang through the quiet room.

"Sorry. Please don't leave."

She frowned. "Hook, I'm not-" Then she smiled, he was actually still asleep. She tightened her arm around him.

"Emma."

She buried her face in his neck. "I'm here Hook." He was tense and highly strung even though he was asleep. Emma ran a hand down his neck, gently massaging. She pitied him a little. He couldn't handle the power very well. It controlled him so easily.

"No." He thrashed. "PLEASE!"

Emma sat up, her heart pounding. "Wake up Hook."

His eyes didn't open. Oh this wasn't good.

His arms were thrashing and a few tears had escaped down his cheeks. Emma crawled closer and cupped his face. "Please, wake up Killian."

He was begging now, more tears rolling down his pale cheeks. "Don't hurt her."

Emma's heart twisted in response. He clearly still cared about her.

Hook suddenly swung his arm out, cracking painfully against the side of Emma's head. She groaned and sat up. Massaging her skull. Why wasn't he waking up? Maybe it was something to do with his newfound power. She had never experienced it. But it seemed that the magic affected every dark one differently.

Her breath caught in her throat as Hook sat up, he had a strange glazed look in his eye. He was still asleep.

In a flash she was on her back, Hook was above her. His hands tightening on her throat. She squeaked, clawing at them. He pushed his weight down on her, his grip growing tighter as her throat seemed to contract, she couldn't take a breath. She couldn't cry. She tried kicking him, he remained still, his body stony and his grip deathly. _Wake up, wake up._ She prayed. Oh if only she had her magic now. The world began to fade, panic filled her.

Then suddenly realization dawned on his face, his grip slackened. "Emma?"

"Yes." She choked. "It's me."

Fear and confusion filled his eyes. "I was strangling you."

"Y-yes."

He squeezed his eyes shut. "Oh god, no." He rolled off her. He sat down on the edge of the bed, head in hands.

"Killian." Emma croaked. "It's okay."

"No." He hissed. "That's the second bloody time today. You shouldn't be around me."

Emma coughed again, rubbing her throat. Then she crawled closer to Hook. "It's not your fault."

"Swan it is. I don't see you acting this way. It's because I am weak."

Emma didn't answer. But she slid her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "Killian we can get through this."

He made a pained cry that was almost animal, then he pressed his body against her. His arms desperately clutching at her. "Swan. I'm so, so sorry." His voice was filled with utter despair and loneliness. He hated himself.

She rocked him back and forth. "I'm here. I won't give up on you."

His whole body shook, tears streaming down his face. He buried his face in her neck, shaking and apoligizing.

Emma ran fingers through his hair. "Killian it's not your fault. I love you. Cry. It's okay." She kissed his damp forehead, gently swaying him.

He had never hugged her so tightly, it seemed almost like he was saying goodbye. "I love you swan." He choked.

Emma didn't answer. She kept placing light kisses on, his forehead collarbone and neck. "I love you too, dear Killian and-" She brushed her lips against his. "I promise you we will fix this."

He was shaking violently, Emma closed her eyes and embraced him fully. They sat like that for a few seconds. Then suddenly Hook pulled away from her. "Emma, go to Regina, get her to take the brace off."

Emma frowned. "Why?"

"So you can protect yourself from me." He didn't meet her eye.

"That's not necessary."

He grabbed both her hands kissing them, hard. "Please Emma. For me. I won't be able to live with myself if I hurt you again."

She paused for a second. "Okay I will."

Hook smiled. "Thanks love." Though he knew in his heart that the only way to keep Emma safe was to make as much distance between them as possible.


	3. Chapter 3: The man I am

**A/N: A bit of a time jump here. Emma got the brace off. Hook still enacted his plan. Canon divergence after this..:)**

 _And I know_  
 _The scariest part is letting go_  
 _'Cause love is a ghost you can't control_  
 _I promise you the truth can't hurt us now_  
 _So let the words slip out of your mouth_

 _And all of the steps that led me to you_  
 _And all of the hell I had to walk through_  
 _But I wouldn't trade a day for the chance to say_  
 _My love, I'm in love with you_

"Let me die a hero swan."

She swallowed, tears streaming down her face. It was happening, she was going to be alone. Again. She squeezed both hands over the cool handle of Excalibur, in that moment it felt like the heaviest thing in the world. She blinked again, then gently kissed Hook. One last time. "I love you." She truly meant it. She loved him more than anyone. More than Neal, more than her family.

If any love could be true then it was theirs. So how was she going to try and live without that?

"It should be me."

"No Swan, I have hurt you enough. It's my turn to pay."

She buried her face in his neck, one last time she would feel this embrace, this warmth. Oh gods. Why couldn't it be her?

"It's okay." He whispered.

No, no, no. It would never be okay. Emma looked into his eyes, tears blurring her vision. Then she stepped forward, the blade stabbed through Hook.

He cried in pain. Emma clutched him tears streaming down her face, but he did not hold her, his arms desperately tried to embrace her one last time. But he could not.

His arms fell away from her. _"I don't want you to die at my hand."_

Now he was dying at hers. She never thought it would hurt so much. She felt like her insides were being torn out. _I love you, I love you, I love you._ She wanted to say it again and again. But the light was fading from his eyes, his body fell to the ground. She would never tell him again. He was gone. She clutched his hand. But the warmth was fading, he was dead. Gone.

 _All of the lights land on you_

 _The rest of the world fades from view_  
 _And all of the love I see_  
 _Please please say you feel it too_  
 _And all of the noise I hear inside_  
 _Restless and loud, unspoken and wild_  
 _And all that you need to say_  
 _To make it all go away_  
 _Is that you feel the same way too_

* * *

 **Two Weeks Later.**

There was no point, no point in living. No point in eating, smiling, talking. Without him, she had no meaning. Ever since Hook had died, Emma had stayed inside, barely sleeping barely eating. The only time she ate was when Snow brought food and watched her eat every bite. The weather stayed warm and sunny after Hook had died, it seemed to be mocking her. Showing her that the world had not been affected by his death. The world had moved on.

"Emma?" The familiar voice of Snow at her door. Emma sighed and got up from her chair, opening the door then proceeding to sit back down.

"Emma, I brought you some lunch."

Emma forced a half smile. "Thanks mother."

Snow sighed and sat down placing a tin foil wrapped container on the table. "Emma, do you want to come outside? It's a lovely day. David is taking Henry to go fishing."

Fishing. They were clearly already moving on, nobody seemed really cut up about Hook's death. They were all eager to move on with their lives. They expected her to as well, how could she? It had barely been two weeks. Hook would wait centuries. "No thanks." She said bluntly.

Snow frowned slightly. "Do you want to come with me and see Neal?"

Emma shook her head.

"Emma you have to come out sometime."

She scowled. "No I don't."

Snow grabbed Emma's hand. "Try and remember the good things, you and him have saved so many people. You are in the book." Snow smiled. "He followed you to another time for gods sake, Emma he loved you more than anything. Don't ruin his memory like this."

Emma's eyes widened. Another time.

"And in his last moments, he was truly selfless. Try and focus on the good."

Emma's head was spinning. "Oh thank you." She stood up. "Thank you so much."

Snow looked confused. "What for?"

"You have given me an idea."

"What idea?"

Emma smiled. "I can bring Killian back."

Her mother looked slightly scared. "Emma. What are you talking about?

Emma didn't answer. She turned and ran out the door. Another time. Another time. Why hadn't she thought of it before? Her and Hook had travelled back in time. Who's to say she couldn't do it again?

She could stop Hook from ever becoming the dark one if she had to. She could stop him from getting cut by Excalibur. Emma's heart was racing.

A symbol of innocence, a symbol of love, courage and wisdom. Four objects. She could find them. She could create a time portal.

It had to work. It had worked for Zelena, why couldn't it work for her?

She didn't care the cost, she would bring Hook back.

 _"I would go to the end of the world for her."_

 _And I know_  
 _The scariest part is letting go_  
 _'Cause love is a ghost you can't control_  
 _I promise you the truth can't hurt us now_  
 _So let the words slip out of your mouth_

 ** _A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter. It will become even more angsty in the future. I hope you guys have heard of the butterfly affect..;) Because time travel has consequences. But..anything for love..:D please R and R if you want more let me know..._**


	4. Chapter 4: AUTHOR UPDATE

**Hey guys if you are keen for me to update this story just let me know in the comments..:) I will revive it if people want me to. Anyway here is a small piece of one on my unpublished chapters. I just don't want to spend time on it without enthusiam from you guys. So let me know if you want a revival!**

 **(This is an alternate world after Emma changed something in the past)**

The rain slithered off the rooftops and gutters, filling the drain till the murky water crept up the footpath. The man held tighter to his umbrella as a strong gust of wind attempted to rip it out of his hands. His shoes were already soaked and his scarf seemed to be too. The walk wasn't much longer. Everything would be fine. As it always was.

Killian Jones wandered through the dark, making his way once again to the bar at the end of the street. It had been a long week. He deserved a drink.

The bar was almost empty. The odd worker sat hunched over the bar, a beer in hand. Killian raised his hand, the bartender nodded and slid an ice cold beer across the bar. He cracked the lid open with a satisfying crack. Why did he always end up getting so drunk? Maybe today would be different? Maybe he would be satisfied with just one?

Ever since his accident five years ago he had lost a large part of his memory. All the important parts it seemed. There was a space that at this point seemed to only be filled with alcohol. It was unreasonable, yes. But Killian didn't really care and he was sure nobody else really did either. One could pretend his workmates at the school cared for him. But that wasn't real. Not really.

He took another gulp and scanned the room, as usual the atmosphere was muggy and filled with tobacco smoke, Killian didn't really care. He had learned to love the smell. It was almost homey.

 **Please read next chapter I have updated!**


	5. Chapter 5: New World

**The Present: 2 weeks later: New York.**

The rain slithered off the rooftops and gutters, filling the drain till the murky water crept up the footpath. The man held tighter to his umbrella as a strong gust of wind attempted to rip it out of his hands. His shoes were already soaked and his scarf seemed to be too. The walk wasn't much longer. Everything would be fine. As it always was.

Killian Jones wandered through the dark, making his way once again to the bar at the end of the street. It had been a long week. He deserved a drink.

The bar was almost empty. The odd truck driver or old man with nothing better to do sat hunched over the bar, a beer in hand. Killian raised his hand, the bartender nodded and slid an ice cold beer across the bar. He cracked the lid open with a satisfying crack. Why did he always end up getting so drunk? Maybe today would be different? Maybe he would be satisfied with just one?

Ever since his accident five years ago he had lost a large part of his memory. All the important parts it seemed. There was a space that at this point seemed to only be filled with alcohol. It was unreasonable, yes. But Killian didn't really care and he was sure nobody else really did either. One could pretend his workmates at the school cared for him. But that wasn't real. Not really.

He took another gulp and scanned the room, as usual the atmosphere was muggy and filled with tobacco smoke, Killian didn't really care. He had learned to love the smell. It was almost homey.

The rain began to increase from a steady downpour to a more hurtling stormy rain. Killian eyed the grey landscape through the window. It was depressing to look at, there was an endless stream of cars, with their flashing red lights setting blood red reflections on the shimmering wet road. The whole picture made him want to bury his head in the sand, at least that would give him a little peace.

Killian tried not to dwell on the things that made him feel worse, he tried not to think about why no family member had contacted him after his accident, he honestly tried, but when he was left to sit with his thoughts he somehow always managed to be miserable once again. It was a little pathetic.

He swallowed another gulp of his beer and sighed, looking away from the busy scene outside.

"Hey, can I sit with you?"

Killian jumped slightly, then smiled as he caught sight of a mousy woman in her mid twenties, she had a tight red checkered dress on and her brown hair was tied back in a vicious pony tail, he name was Jen, she was the workmate that was most friendly towards him.

"Of course you can." He smiled.

She carefully sat down in the booth opposite him. "Hiya, you looked pretty lonesome by yourself, so I thought I might give you some company."

"How very generous of you." He smirked playfully.

"You know me, generous Jen."

Killian laughed and visibly cringed at the bad humour. "That is bad."

"I know, but who cares? It's just you and me...anyway you laughed. I haven't seen you do that for a while."

Killian smirked and opened his mouth to disagree, but then he realised what she said was probably true. "I'm sorry." He said. "Things haven't been all too good for me."

"No worries." Jen smiled. "I understand, just like you should understand that I want to cheer you up."

He smiled warmly and nodded, maybe he did have a friend...or two. "Thanks, Jen."

She then proceeded to tell Killian some bubbly story about one of the kids at work, Killian tried to pay attention, but her words were lost as his mind began to wander elsewhere, he felt disjointed, even with Jen's wonderful company he felt like he couldn't possibly fit in, but the thought of living anywhere else scared him, how would he fit in in another city if he couldn't fit in this city, his home for five years. Killian did realise his feeling of not fitting in was probably just due to his memory loss.

"So do you want to?"

Killian felt a rush of guilt as Jen's voice cut through his haze of thought. "Want to what?"

She frowned, while smiling, it was an odd expression. "Were you listening? Do you want to come over to my place? Me and some friend are having a movie night. It should be fun, and I promise there are other guys going too."

Killian's first feeling was that he would rather sit in his flat and do nothing, but then he realised how happy it would make Jen if he went. "Sure I'll come. When are we going?"

She paused then her face broke into a huge grin. "Now if you want, who says we can't spend our whole saturday being lazy and watching movies?"

Killian raised his eyebrow. "Nobody, lass."

She burst into laughter. "Lass? What are you Irish or something? That sounds so old fashioned, but I gotta admit, it's kinda cute."

He felt heat creep up his cheeks. The nickname had just popped into his head and he had said it without a second thought, only now did he realise how odd it sounded.

"So do you want to go now?"

"Yeah, I might as well."

They left the bar, arm in arm under Killian's large umbrella, it was actually a relief to leave the muggy tobacco smelling air in the bar. Jen didn't stop talking their entire walk, she made huge hand gestures and laughed at her own jokes, Killian just smiled, realising how lucky he was to have her in his life.

The pavement was wet, hardly anyone was out at this time of night, a stray sheet of newspaper flew across the pavement and lifted into the air above them.

"What type of movies do you like?" Jen squeezed his arm.

"I-" He paused, his breath caught in his throat as he caught sight of a blonde woman marching across the road towards them.

"Hey it's rude to stare." Jen teased.

Killian laughed and nodded, turning his gaze away from her.

They were just about to continue walking when Killian felt a hand grasp his shoulder, he spun round, almost dropping the umbrella in the process. The woman he had just been staring at was standing right behind him, her hair was plastered to her cheeks and she looked entirely wild.

"Um...are you okay?" Killian queried awkwardly.

"Is your name Killian Jones?" She was out of breath, and her voice came out slightly shakily.

"Uh...yes, who's asking?"

"I am." She breathed. "Do you know who I am?"

Killian frowned. "No, who are you?"

He didn't expect the look of utter hopelessness on her face. "Not at all, do I seem at all familiar to you?"

He shook his head, confused.

She looked sad and tired. "I have ruined everything, gods I have done everything wrong. Nothing is the same, it's all changed." She sounded as if she was talking to herself.

Killian didn't say a word, she sounded a little crazy, he caught Jen's eye. She seemed to think so too, but when the woman spoke again it confirmed both of their opinions.

"Killian," She breathed. "I have come from the future."


End file.
